life

Y’all know I’m a lover of podcasts. I was just catching up on one of my faves The Friend Zone, when Fran posed a question in the wellness section that really got me thinking.

The wellness segment starts at about 37:00 below

3 things that I learned about myself in 2015 that I hate & how I plan to change them in 2016

I struggle with commitment: I have the hardest time committing to anything that feels “too permanent” or “too much responsibility”. This includes people, things, and even ideas. I spent a lot of 2015 thinking that after graduation I would go back to working full time and start saving to buy my own condo. Recently that has been seeming like entirely too much commitment for me to handle and I’d rather save money and travel all over the world before “settling down”. We could honestly be here all day talking about the relationships I’ve ran from when they got too serious or how I only date guys who are just as non-committal as me (and then have the nerve to be mad about it). I really need to do better!

I compare myself to others too much: Social media makes it entirely too easy to see what everyone else is doing, how their living and where they’re going at any given moment. Although I know everything is not always as it seems in the land of the gram and Facebook it’s almost impossible not to compare myself to others at times. I feel like I’m constantly in a state of downplaying myself and thinking “I haven’t achieved enough” partially because of comparing myself to others. The craziest thing is how I’ll compare myself to what others are doing or what society says I’m “supposed” to be doing at this age even though I don’t really want them (ie. getting married & having kids) while I really should be focusing on the things that I have accomplished. I have my B.A., I’m 14 weeks away from having my M.S.W., and my car is halfway paid off all by me!

I don’t do enough things on my own: I always see great events I would love to attend, things I would like to try or places I would like to go but I pass up on so many of them because I can’t find someone to go with me and I’m not always comfortable going solo. I love being alone AT HOME but going out and having new experiences alone just always seems weird and lonely for me.

Now to the hard part of the question, how am I going to work on fixing all of these things? I’m not entirely sure but I think my overall focus in 2016 will just be on myself! Personal growth is the goal. I really want to explore my spirituality, practice more meditation, and be a lot more introspective this year. The more I focus on myself the less I can be worried about what others are doing. I’m also really going to challenge myself to have a few solo adventures this year. I want to go on at least one trip to somewhere unfamiliar all by myself. Who knows, I might actually have fun.

3 things that I learned about myself in 2015 that I love & how they will help me succeed in 2016

It’s so much easier to talk about the things that you dislike about yourself than it is the things that you like

I’m grateful: I don’t think I’ve ever felt more grateful for my life and the people that are in it than I have in 2015. I truly have an amazing support system and I’m 99% sure I wouldn’t be here without them. As much as I’ll complain or get down on myself about living with my mom still, I would never be able to go to school full time and work part time without having that support. My friends are amazingly encouraging and supportive, the ones I have in real life and the network I’ve created online as well. In 2016, I’m going to continue being grateful and acknowledging my support system so we can carry each other through 2016.

I’m selfish: I’ve tried to deny my selfish nature forever but I’ve finally just decided to embrace it in 2015 and beyond. “How can being selfish be a positive quality?” you may ask. It doesn’t mean that I never help or do anything for others but for me being selfish is making myself a priority above everything else. I’ve spent so much time in the past doing for others, trying to please other people, and accepting things that I didn’t want because it made other people happy. Being selfish has been so much better for my mental health overall. So often as women we’re expected to just give and nurture, and care until you have nothing left and even then you’re still supposed to give some more without complaint. I just don’t do that anymore, I refuse to suffer in silence and I’ve been much more at peace because of it.

I always want to do better and achieve more: This is the other part of the reason why I always feel like “I’m not doing enough” as I discussed above. I’m always learning and trying to improve or achieve more than I currently. I don’t know if I’ll ever reach a point where I feel content with my life and I don’t think I want to. I want to be comfortable but never content.

I would love to see some of y’alls responses are to the Fran’s prompts as well!

Comment below or link your blogpost, youtube, etc. if you create a response.

Let’s all have an amazing 2016!